Families and how to survive them

Jane Fonda & JLo1

Healing relationships with Family Constellations

I was born in England and grew up with poor relationships with my family members. My husband and I had left for Australia with our children to find that we hadnt escaped at all, as our current family “ myself, husband and children were also experiencing difficulties, in spite of my skills and knowledge as a counsellor.

Original ideas

Then one day, while I was browsing in a bookshop in Sydney a little brown book appeared to jump out of the shelf at me. (I was a clinical counsellor taking time out to relax.) The book was an introduction to Bert Hellinger and Family Constellations. The book with its original ideas, blew me away. That was in 2002.  I made a wish to experience the work first hand, not knowing how this could happen as Hollinger was in Germany and I was in Australia. I let it go.

Changing patterns

In 2005 I went to India with my husband and by chance went to an Ashram where on the second day of our arrival, a big sign went up to say … come and experience Family Constellations! And so, this led to my first workshop experience and onto the first of many trainings in the process. As a counsellor I had always been looking for the most effective modalities for myself and clients, as changing patterns and transformation has been a life-long passion for me. Family Constellation, I believe, can turn round even the toughest family situations.

Ancestral lines

Perhaps you have a problem with your love relationship, family or a child? Maybe you have already tried counselling or other therapies with little progress? Could it be that the problem you are facing is not merely about communication, limiting beliefs or clashing values, but more about the energies each of you bring with you from your ancestral lines, that is blocking the flow of love between you? So what is an ancestral line …?

Freeing old ties

The process of Family Constellations supports the idea that blockages may be experienced in the present due to trauma or deeply entrenched patterns in family energy, sometimes even, but not always, coming from past generations. The process connects individuals to their ancestral lines, while also freeing them from old ties and family dynamics so that there is more strength, clarity and choice available in the present. In this way Family Constellation works at an energetic level and goes to the underlying dynamics of an issue sensitively and quickly, causing emotional and energetic shifts and allowing new solutions to arise. 

Be the change

When I and my husband did our Family Constellations in India, it caused big shifts in ourselves and the whole family, including the extended family in the UK. That was one of the amazing things, that we did the work but the effects were felt on the other side of the world. And there continues to be ripples of change, each time we do further constellations, resulting in much warmer and closer connections between all of us. I now feel quite sorry that I am no longer with them even though I am very happy with my life here.

Academically proven

Recent academic research confirms that Family Constellations is extremely effective at improving many types of relationships such as marriage, couples, family and parenting, as well as singles unable to find suitable partners, or help people reach more amicable separation or divorce, resulting in releasing them to move on with their lives.  In addition Constellations are beneficial in helping individuals to find harmony in blended families and improve a range of mental health issues, such as depression or anxiety and wellbeing generally. The Family Constellation process is brief for many people, often one session, one issue in a workshop forum, or part of a slightly longer therapeutic supportive process for others. Private sessions are also available. Very little information is required. This is not a traditional counselling session. For most people one session of Family Constellations is more effective than more than six months of other modalities.

Carrie’s constellation

 I did a constellation four years ago, to help in a particularly nasty marriage break up. The session was extra-ordinary. I chose participants from the workshop to represent the people in my situation, including my kids, and placed them spatially in the room in a way I felt represented the current energetics of the relationships. With very little information the participants unfolded the dynamic with astonishing accuracy – to the point that it felt like they were channelling my family! The process allowed me a great deal of confirmation around what I had felt was really going on behind the scenes and a deep re-assurance that my children were okay. It’s powerful work and I loved it and would definitely do it again.  Carrie Wilcox

Yildiz Sethi does private and group Constellations in Brisbane and Sydney.  For appointments or more info, check out her website at:  www.familyconstellations.com.au

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Authors Website: http://www.familyconstellations.com.au

Profile: Yildiz started life as a physics and chemistry school teacher and later became a clinical counsellor, Hypnotherapist, NLP practitioner and then a Systemic Family Constellations practitioner. Yildiz is a brief therapist. In addition to her private practice she is also a lecturer at the Australian College of Applied Psychology and also a trainer of Family Constellations facilitators. B.Ed, Grad. Dip. Counselling. Dip. Hypnotherapy. NLP. Ego State Therapy. Systemic Family Constellations. Professional membership of ACA, ASCH, ISCA, DGfS, You may attend Family constellation seminars in Brisbane or Sydney to do your own constellation or to be a participant only, or consult her for a private session of Family or Business constellations, counselling, hypnotherapy, NLP and Ego State Therapy or a combination of her services in her unique brand of brief therapy.


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